A Change in Season

I have been ignoring this blog for something like two months now, which I don't think is fair to it. I do have to kind of accept, though, that blogging is just not part of my daily or weekly habits and I forget. A lot.

I'm on summer break now, crazy enough. Finals came and went, and I did pretty well. I moved out of the dorms, and boy, was that an emotional whirlwind or what. I don't like not living with Ambria. I am moved back in at home, though, and what a change it's been. I very abruptly went from sleeping six hours a night if I'm lucky and being stressed out of my mind and constantly rushing about and studying, to... well, nothing at all. I sleep at least 8 hours a night now, and today I had my first truly lazy day in what feels like eons. The other days I've been running little errands and cleaning my room, making it livable again, doing chores, that sort of thing. But now, all the moving in chores are done, so I've got days to myself.

This week I had five items on my list to bake.

1. Peach cobbler- my mom makes this every year, and I eagerly await having peaches back in stock at the markets every year as well
2. Palmiers, or Elephant Ears- I found a super simple recipe for these in a Barefoot Contessa boo and knew immediately I had to make them
3. Ciabatta- this has been on my list to make for a long time and still hasn't happened, so we'll see.
4. Cinnamon Rolls- I had a craving and knew what I had to do
5. Rosemary Dinner Rolls- We had these at my Grandma's birthday dinner this past week and they knocked my socks off, so of course I have to have these for myself!

I've already done the peach cobbler and the elephant ears, and they've both been nearly all eaten. The elephant ears were baked in two batches and the first one got a little... burnt, but the second one came out almost perfect! They're pretty damn good, tbh. 

I've also been knitting, I started a shawl for my grandma and it's coming along nicely. I think I'll make another post about it later though. 

I've mostly just had time to relax. Get back to the thing I'm passionate about and rekindle old flames (like baking!). I've decided that I want this blog to be more project based, not constantly catching up in progress reports. I haven't been blogging enough for that lately though, so I need to strike a balance. I'm getting there, and it will be easier now that I don't have school eating up my life for a while. I believe it can happen. I'm glad to be back.

Regrets and second chances.

I'm giving myself ten minutes to write whatever I want here right now, because I need to start my lab report but I just can't seem to get settled. Last week I was on spring break, and I worked 40 hours over the week for spring break camps. I got the five year old group though, and I came home dead tired every day, so I didn't read any of the ten chapters I needed to get through. I went to see the Killers on Saturday, and they were great, but my feet weren't doing great and we didn't get a phenomenal spot. But, in line before we got in, I saw a shirt a girl was wearing that read "The desert is calling and I must go". Below that, was a black and white image of a desert with the caption 'Death Valley, California". And I don't know why, but when I saw that, it really struck a chord in me.

There is just something so magical about the wilderness. I'm romanticizing it, of course, but being close to nature is something that is incredibly important to me. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but I always have a yearning for wide expanses at night and in the twilight or at dawn. I have an opportunity to go camping this weekend with my family, but I still need to catch up on reading because I have a test next week. I know I'm not going to read if I'm out there, but I also know this is my last chance in a while to go camping, and my previous attempt ended badly...

I don't actually think I've written about that yet. The wound still feels fresh, even though it was weeks ago, so maybe this will help to accept it.

I had a camping trip out to Joshua Tree planned a few weeks ago, we would leave right as class got out and arrive just after dark on Thursday night, since we all have relatively empty Fridays. We were delayed though, and hit traffic on the drive, so what should have been a three hour trip turned into four.

We got in through the 29 palms entrance late, maybe around 11, and the ranger station at the entrance to the park said "ALL CAMPGROUNDS FULL".

I was floored.

  All Campgrounds full? I'd run into this sign last year too, taking my boyfriend out here with my family, but that was on a Friday. Surely there had to be some spots left. I remember days when we could roll in whenever and our biggest worry was getting a campground at Jumbo with a nice view. And before I can remember, my parents only used to go to Jumbo if Ryan was especially full! At risk of sounding old and curmudgeonly at 18, I will say this: Times have changed, and not for the better, and I'll bet my bottom dollar Coachella is part of it.

Anyway.

Now we had little option, so we drove into the park and started looking. Cause sometimes those signs aren't quite accurate.

Jumbo, no luck. Belle, no luck. White Tank, no luck. I halfway expected this, because I mean, the sign said full. But still. At this point I was freaking out internally, and my friends definitely sensed that. It was my first time driving into the park ever, I was the only one who had been there before and we were out of cell service in the dark. Luckily there aren't too many roads in Joshua tree and they have good signs, but I was a little nervous. So after checking those three, we turned around and got on the big road. The one that goes all the way out to Cottonwood. That's usually where we get lucky with spots, if the north sites are full, Cottonwood is usually so out of the way they have something.

 That was a very long, very stressful drive in the dark, made longer and more stressful by the fact that I ha no idea how long it would take or if there would be spots. We get there and drive around both loops (I could have sworn there were 3), and... nothing.

I was floored. Again.

 We decided to head into Indio for the night and get a hotel rather than driving three hours back home. I let Nat take over for driving and texted my mom that we were getting a hotel. Most hotels didn't have vacancies that could fit three people, so we decided on a little motel that my mom didn't like the look of. So of course, she got up in the middle of the night (the MIDDLE of the night) and called around. She ended up getting us a suite room in a more upscale Best Western for a discounted price. Two rooms, three queen beds. It was, admittedly, a nice end to an otherwise disappointing night.

Of course, the thought that Joshua Tree wouldn't be full up by nightfall really shows my naivety, but the next morning we ventured into the park and found a spot at cottonwood no problem. It was actually the same spot we had found last year with my boyfriend. I was elated, ad we promptly set up camp.

 After setting up and settling in, we ventured into the park. We decided to see Barker Dam first, but the car decided we were getting gas first. So, after gas and cell service, we went to Barker Dam and ate lunch. It was really quite windy, so some of the fun was taken out of it, with coarse sand pelting any exposed skin as if to say "you're not welcome here". We still had fun anyway. We walked out to the dam and around the back and saw some petroglyphs and took some pictures and had a beautiful time anyway.

After the hike, we debated going to jumbo to play some desert bocce out in the rocks, but we were all exceptionally tired, so we decided to go back and make dinner.

On the drive back from the main part of the park, there is a cholla garden along the side of the road, with a path winding in and out of a patch of cholla, and it really looks magical in the sunset. There were, sadly, some clouds that gave me a little knot in my stomach heading over the mountains, and the cold wind was still buffeting us. I remained outwardly optimistic as much as I could, but mentioned it to my friends.

We drove back to camp to make dinner, warm in or car. We arrived back at camp to find that the wind there had been so strong it had uprooted all ten stakes in our tent and managed to roll it away, along with the three bags, water bottles, and camping gear inside. We fished the tent out of the bushes and set it up again, this time with literally every stake we had. The tent was still bending and creaking in a way that didn't look quite healthy though. We started up dinner and managed to make rice before the wind grew so bad the heat blew away as soon as it was produced, and we couldn't cook the rest of our food.

The clouds were rolling in thicker and it seemed more and more likely that it was going to rain. As darkness fell, I felt the first patters of rain, and the nervousness that had been sitting in the pit of my stomach leapt into my throat.

I was the only experienced campers with two friends from school that had never been here before. We were out of cell service with no way to know how long this would last. The winds were blowing so hard that the tent was creaking like it was going to break, and we had no dinner to eat because the stove blew out. Our tent was sitting at a wash at the bottom of the campground and if it rained hard enough, all the water would come running down there. and possibly flood my nice family tent.

I considered all of this at once, in a panic, and decided to run for it. In the rain my friends and I broke down camp in literal record time and drove out of there, probably looking like fools to the other campers. With Nat driving, when we got to cell service, I texted my family of my shameful defeat and we drove the three hours to get home. We arrived late that night, windswept and shocked and still muddy, and told my family about the weekend, then slept in my house overnight. The next day, I took my friends back, then retreated home to lick my wounds. in the comfort of my own home.

I felt--and still do feel--like a failure for this trip. I checked the weather beforehand but I didn't check it that day as we were leaving and I didn't check the wind, just rain forecast. The night we left, the rain passed pretty quickly, and I felt foolish, but I kept reminding myself it was still windy enough to blow away a well staked tent with three heavy bags and a few heavy bottles in it, but when we got home at midnight we checked the weather again and it was predicted to stop by 1AM and be beautiful for the rest of the weekend. If I had just toughed it out, we could have ad a fantastic weekend. Instead, I got tears.

I also feel immensely bad because I cost everyone so much money. My friend put down $40 for the nights there and we didn't use any of it. My mom also paid for our hotel the first night and filled the tank before we left, and my friends all pitched in for food and firewood. And it all came to nothing.

I mean, I guess all of it came to a good story and a learning experience. But it really feels like nothing.

This has been very cathartic to write, but even now, months later, I'm still not over it and I don't think I really ever will be, but the most I can do now is move ahead and learn from this mistake for later trips.

February Progress Report

I know that I only started posting on here in late February, but I still want to get into the habit of making monthly updates.

Not much has changed since last post, buuut I didn't get a chance to talk about a few things on that post that I'm really excited about.

First, projects.

As far as knitting, I'm onto my March Finish or Frog projects, which are my Chevron Scarf, My cotton dish bag, Natalie's Headband, and I want to start a pair of socks.

The scarf, I really hope to finish because I made the pattern myself, but scarves are soooo tedious. I'm maybe a quarter of the way done and it's killing me slowly. It's made of a mystery yarn gifted to me by a friend, and all I can tell really is that it's probably synthetic and its got a nice sheen.

The cotton dish bad I'm making out of sugar n cream or whatever that cotton stuff it. It's so that I can hang my plastic dishes on the wall and utilize more vertical storage in our room, but I don't really feel the need for it anymore. And like its a really simple project, but two problems have been making me put it off forever.

First it's made out of cotton, and I need that cause its basically gonna be a dishcloth, but holy hell I can't fucking stand he texture of this stuff. I've only ever worked with the cotton sugar n cream or whatever it is from Micheal's, so I don't know if all cotton yarns feel like this, but I freakin hate it. Secondly, it's out of crocheting, and while I crocheted avidly for a good many years and wouldn't even touch knitting needles, I'm just so over crocheting. It's like totally lost its appeal now, and while I need it to make this construction happen, its just a slog to get though. Honestly this project shouldn't take more than an hour or two but it's so tedious. I hope to get it done quickly, or else I feel like this might be a Frog project.

The headband is another project that will take about fifteen minute but I just like. Eh. I don't really care right now. I made one in about 12 hours to give to my sister for her birthday, and that's 12 hours including sleeping, eating and classes like normal. Seriously an easy knit.

With my last order from knit picks where I bought my drop spindle (my love), I also got two skeins of Felici, and I went to my LYS recently and got a different color to use for the toes and heels on some socks. So far, I've only done Tin Can Knit's Rye pattern, which is cuff down with a heel flap or something? I'm not quite sure, but I'm looking to expand my sock arsenal so I decided to try toe up two at a time socks. Which sounded super fun, until it got right now to making them. I finished my February FoF projects pretty fast, and I've had the option to start them, but I just... haven't. I think I'm intimidated. I don't really understand the concepts behind two at a time or an afterthought heel. I'm really excited for them, yeah, but it's easier to keep being excited for them than to start them and get super stuck and not be excited anymore. I just gotta kick my hiney into high gear. We'll see though.

I also have some side projects that aren't FoF related. My friends and I are going on a camping trip soon, and it'll probably be cold, so I'm knitting all of us (semi)matching hats before we go. For Christmas I got a sampler of Biggo from Knit Picks, in Dove Heather, Bamboo Heather, Aurora Heather and Sapphire Heather, so I'm mixing and matching the colors and making beanies out of The Vermonter pattern.

Which is awesome and all... but I think my knitting has changed since I knit this pattern for the first time. They all turn out too short now. And it's not like I'm blindly following the pattern, I make extra wide brims and add an extra row to ever pattern repeat, so it's two inches longer than it would have been if I followed the pattern exactly, but its still... too short. I'm kind of stuck because I already ripped out mine completely and did it over, so I don't really want to do that again, but I know it'll piss me off if I leave it as is.

So we'll see where that goes. I'm still excited cause I have the pattern nearly memorized by now, so it's an easy in-class knit and I can make one a day basically. There's a lot of finishing that needs to be done on them, but honestly it's a pretty easy project, considering I need to make multiple beanies before next week.

Besides that, I don't really have much going on with knitting. I put some things in my queue for the first time ever, and my family went to San Francisco over the long weekend and my mom brought me back some lovely, wonderful hand-dyed cashmere yarn that I'm just in love with. I' haven't gotten good pictures of it yet, but it's this lovely dusty rose color and I realize how freaking cheap I am cause I have never felt anything this soft.

I'm excited but I don't quite know what this yarn wants to be yet. This is one of those things where the yarn is so nice I don't want to squander it, so I'm gonna find a pattern that really fits with it before thinking about using it.

In sewing land, I'm very excited.

I went to Jo-Anne's a while back and oh boy. I spent most of what was in my checking, but SO worth it. I got enough petticoat netting and cotton to make myself a short petticoat, which I've been dying to do forever, honestly. I also impulse bought some beautiful special edition cotton something or other fabric with gold on it, in a pattern that reminds me of a peacock in the jazz age almost. It's really beautiful. I aaaalso got a few more yards of my Starry Night fabric, enough to finally make my paneled circle skirt.

Over the course of two weekends, I set some hours aside to set up shop in one of the study rooms and I have started constructing my circle skirt. It's made of 8 panels, and while I wanted maybe 6, dividing a half circle by 4 is easier than dividing a half circle by three, so 8 it is. I'm really excited for it, all of the panels are sewn together and it's been hanging in my room for two weekends now. Still left is putting in a waistband, hemming it, and making closures. It's so close to done and I'm so excited.

That's about it for major projects right now, this wasn't so much a progress report as what I'm working on right now, but as this blog has more consecutive months under it's belt I'll really be able to reflect more. Personal developments coming soon hopefully. Until then, I've got class!

The tug on my heart

I've always been pulled to the outdoors I guess. I could go on and on and on about my childhood and camping and nature. Even though I lived smack dab in the middle of tourist suburbia, My childhood was still full of nature. Some of my happiest memories are from being in nature.

And I gotta say, dorm life is getting to me.

Big time.

In the last few days, I've really been feeling a tugging on my heartstrings, my friends and I have talked frequently about road trips, camping, and hiking. Today I felt it very strongly, and planned a weekend camping trip to Joshua Tree. But that hasn't helped it at all. I still feel more than ever the need to be in nature, to have silence, to hear the gravel under my feet.

I was really excited about my camping trip today, but now I'm kin of... not. It dims in comparison to what I really want, which is mountains. And forests. And streams and clearings and the lush life that makes me believe in faeries a little bit.

I crave the open road, and great, majestic rock that tells stories in its layer and holds memories from times ancient. I want to feel the energy of a mountain.

Tonight I found Rachael Caringella's blog again, after many years. Her blog was the firs blog I ever found. How, I don't know, but I, god I don't even know ho to write this. I followed her blog closely throughout my freshman year of high school, but, with many things, lost the plot during sophomore year. To clarify, I fond her blog again a few months ago, but I guess I wasn't in the right place, because I thought, 'God, she looks older" and left.

Tonight, I made the Productivity post, published the progress one that had been languishing in drafts, and then looked around on my blogger dashboard. I saw the most recent posts from her blog here, which led me to her new website. I know something is right about now, because when I saw her pictures, she looks older, yes. It's been five years and neither of us look the same. But she looks wiser, too. More mature.

So I started looking through her blog, I highly recommend it, and reading her posts. She's moved up to a cabin in the mountains an as I read back in time, I got to her posts from moving in. And she talked about a tug from the mountain, which I feel, and always have (even growing up far from any proper mountains).

At this point I was feeling the tight tugging in my chest, but then I read about her loving the quiet of the mountain versus the constant noise of the city, and I broke a little bit. I've grown so used tot he constant noise and hubbub of the dorms, but I hate it. I really do. The refrigerator is constantly whirring, the thermostat turns on at odd hours, there's constantly cars outside, I can hear groups of people talking on the street on their way to of from parties, I can hear every time someone flushes a toilet in the girls bathroom, I can hear every step my upstairs neighbors make, I can hear every time my neighbors beside me decide to practice guitar, I can hear when anyone plays music, it's just constantly loud here.

It's been so long since I've heard my favorite sound.

Silence.

But not only silence, but the crunching of gravel beneath my feet, the wind traveling over vast open spaces, the movement of small creatures underfoot. The far away sound of one lonely car.

Sound factors in so much to my fond memories of camping, so when i read about the silence of the mountain, I kin of lost it. I've cried a little bi, but it's been a good cry, and I know going forward, I need to be out in nature more. y campus offer very little in the way of natural spaces (none, really), and its hard to get out of the urban sprawl, but I'm determined. Tomorrow morning my friend and I are going for a short hike near here, and it's not very nature-y, but it's a start. That, coupled with my upcoming camping trip, will hopefully start to ease my heart.

Progress Report

As always, I'm juggling many things at once for this semester. I just started spring semester as a bio major and I've got five units of chemistry and four units of biology, so this semester's gonna be a bitch to get through with GE's as well. Crafting kind of took a backseat after winter break was over, but I've just organized my room and made a run to Joanne's so I'm hoping to get some sewing done this weekend.

But there's always knitting.

Right now I'm kind of taking a break from big projects, after rushing out J's socks before he left as well as rushing out my beanie commission. I don't have many pressing projects on my plate, which is a new feeling, but I've still got a lot of WIP's and plans.

1. I just got two balls of Felici self striping yarn from Knit Picks in the colorway tea party, so I' hoping to make ankle socks for my roommate and I, but I want to find a complimentary color for the toe and heel. With those socks I will be trying some toe-up two at a time socks, so I'm pushing myself to something new. 
2. I may have another beanie commission on the table, the first one was my roommates sorority sister for her girlfriend that said "lesbeanie" in rainbow, and my floor mate wants one that will say "[insert name here]'s! Gay!" around the hat. 
3. I've got some lovely maroon Plymouth merino yarn so I can try mittens, which I've also never tried before. Right now I'm trying to decide between Dainty Bubbles and Eugenia's Mittens, but I'm sure either would look good. 
4. I'm a big fan of The Decemberists and just got their new EP, Florasongs. I was inspired by the rose art on the cover, so I got some Knit Picks Pallete yarn in Jay and Cream I believe, and I'm planning on ordering Serrano soon. I made a pattern for a row of roses around the brim of a hat that would ultimately be pat of a larger collection. The Decemberists have been my favorite band for four years at this point, so I wanted to do a series of free patterns inspired by certain songs or albums. This one I feel is a good stepping stone into making some more patterns based only off the music and not the album art. 
5. I have several socks either planned or on the needles, namely Broken Seed Stitch Socks in some yarn I bought in Germany, and Kensington socks from the Knitters Book of Socks both in a wool cotton mix that I love the color of but hate the yarn, and in some cascade wool that I hate the color of but love the yarn. Can't have it all. 

Other than that I've got a cowl, a dish bag, a few scarves and some other little stuff in the making. I'm hoping for something exciting soon to kick start me into knitting more and hopefully getting fewer things on the needles.

In knitting-related things, I have picked up natural dyeing and spinning recently.

With the dying, I've been doing it since I've come to school really. I started with a big cheap pot from target and four hanks of bare yarn from Knit picks. I've used two hanks so far, splitting them each into thirds to experiment with dyes. I've done Rosemary, Hibiscus, Strawberry, Blueberry, Red cabbage, Red cabbage with baking soda, and Purple Carrots. I currently have a bunch of eucalyptus drying by my jewelry to use soon, I've heard dried eucalyptus makes a beautiful orange. Here's to hoping.!

I also started spinning recently. Over winter break, I bought myself a drop spindle and a  thing of Knit Picks roving (Wool of the Andes Roving in Tidepool Heather, a beautiful shade) and spend two days spinning some bulky yarn. I love it, and wish I had more money to get my hands on some more, but I'll have to wait.

Thats about it for fiber arts right now. Until next time, happy crafting.

Productivity

This week, after a particularly grueling round of tests and major assignments in all of my classes, I am happy to take some creative time.
I was incredibly productive this week, as well as incredibly tired, averaging five and a half hours of sleep each night. My laptop has been acting up as well, so I am typing this from my little pop up lap desk on my bed so it wont go into death cries of fan exhaustion from overheating. Thanks, IKEA.
Anyway, I only had to skip one class this week in order to make it through it all, and it was well worth it.

Now that I've made it through the week, I am giving myself the weekend off. Last night I organized my yarn stash and planned out some future projects, after finishing my Garland Cowl after forever. It was originally going to be a present for my math professor for letting me into her class even though she shouldn't, but after she went off on me in the middle of class for knitting while she lectured, I decided to let that project take a backburner and I gave it to myself.

A side note, I completely understand her being upset that I seemed to be not paying attention in class, but she had to take into account that everyone learns differently and I was doing what was best for me to stay awake in her class. And she didn't have to bring my grades into it, I was doing fine.

Coming back from my meandering, I finally picked it back up again for my February 'Frog or Finish' project, but it had languished so long in the middle of the lace section that I had completely forgotten what was going on, and couldn't work it out from the row before. After about five minutes, I said eh whatever and I just knit regularly until the end of the row and continued on with the pattern after the lace.

It came together pretty quickly after that, even with my hectic schedule, and I was able to cast off last night. My only gripe is that I couldn't fine a cast off stretchy enough for it. I tried a little bit of "jenny's super stretchy" whatever, but hated it, then a little of that Icelandic bind off that's been floating around on tumblr, but didn't like anything so I just said fuck it and did a regular bind of for the rest of it.

This morning, I also 'blocked' my other February FoF project,  a beanie using the Barley pattern from Tin Can Knits using some acrylic Heartland from Lion Brand. And by block, I mean run it under some very hot water real quick and put it on my wig head. And by using the Barley pattern, I mean look at the pattern then kind of do whatever the hell I want until it looks like a beanie.

Oh well, oh well. Its probably gonna be a shitty present anyway, a guy in the other wing was talking about how cool handmade gits were, and was actually really genuine, so I said what the heck. My friend, who is the wing mom for her wing as I am the wing mom for mine, had made everyone little needle felted presents over winter break, and he was genuinely so happy, he kept going on about how nice and heartfelt it was when people put effort into gifts like that. I decided then that it would probably be more loved by him than by the other person I was considering giving it to, so soon it will find a home with him.

I'm pretty tired for the night, and my computer is wheezing, so I think I'll end it there and talk about my works in progress on a separate post soon. I'm off to knit and watch X-Files!

Four Years Later

Four years ago, I was a freshman in high school. I'm a freshman again, but now I'm at college. I'd like to say I learned a lot during that time, I certainly went through a lot of life changes, but jury's still out as to how much I actually learned. Freshman year, I started a blog, _4craft (whose name I still kind of like enough to want to use it, but I need a fresh start). It was abandoned after 6 posts because I was incredibly self conscious about posting, I was kind of shitty at it, and then I started recovering from a crush I had, and that took most of my time. 

So here I am, freshman in college, and I really wanted to use this blog name. Is that a good enough reason to start a blog? I guess so. I was also itchin for a place to kind of rant and ramble because tumblr is too anonymous and feels like shouting into the void, and facebook feels too personal and like shouting into my family, friends, and coworkers faces. I get more reaction from shouting into faces, but I still feel pretty annoying, so a change of scenery was in store. 

So, first off, who am I? 

My name is Sydney, I'm a bio major living in the gay dorms on my campus. Not like bad, I mean actually the LGBTQIA+ dorms on campus. I am pansexual, my roommate is lesbian/asexual and part of Gamma Rho Lambda (which I sure hope I spelled right) and my hall is full of gay people. I'm apathetic towards a lot of things, and angry about a handful more.

I have a long term long distance boyfriend, three good friends, and a dog back at home. I knit, spin, dye, sew, cook, eat, and draw. And a lot of other stuff but I kind of hate these introduction posts so I'll wrap it up. I have a knitting blog, a shit blog, I ran a Harry Potter Facebook page, and my eyes are bigger than my mouth with everything in life. 

Bye!